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Sunday, June 19, 2011

Past Kid Quotes

Below are things the kids have said over the past 6 months.  I copied and pasted from my facebook page, so they may be things you have read before.  AND BEWARE....There are a lot of quotes.

Gabriel, "I'm all dressed. Now, we can go to Eric Estrada's house."
Daniel, "Gabe, don't bite my butt."
Hannah had a serious blond moment. She is convinced that she hasn't grown since she turned four, because she can still touch the top of her head.
Daniel, "Gabe, stop throwing toys!!" Gabe, "I'm not Gabe. I'm He-man. And I have the power of Castle Grayskull!"
Gabriel just came in the room...naked....and screamed "Naked Power." Then started attacking his brothers with a sword.
Daniel, "Gabe, don't call me 'Stupidhead' or 'Dumbnuts'."
Gabe, "Hannah, please give me my car book now because I said so."
Daniel, "Mom, I just realized something. Fat cells and muscle cells are like balloons. Depending on how much you eat or exercise they get big and small like a balloon with air."
HANNAH: Our story at VBS was about a missionary who owned a dog that was a Christian. GRAMMA: Hannah, dogs cannot be Christians. HANNAH: But, Gramma, the Bible says "All things are possible with God!" GRAMMA: Cool! A Christian dog!!
Gabe shakes his Spite and sprays his babysitter. After I "inform" him of how the behavior is unacceptable, he says, "but it sure is fun!"
Daniel, "Mixed vegetables? What did I do?" (In all fairness, we threaten them with mixed vegetables occasionally when they don't behave.)
Another thing for the list of things you never thought you'd say, "Gabe, don't take your clothes off in the middle of the store!"
Hannah gave me a 20 minute explanation of Lucy, the cricket's, family tree. Apparently many of her relatives have moved to the far reaches of the world. I was happy to find out, though, that she her family has adopted an African mosquito and an Asian stink beetle. Multicultural experience for sure!!
Gabriel found a dead bug in the living room. Then he used an ENTIRE roll of toilet paper trying to pick it up. I had toilet paper from one end of the room to the other. And of course he was wearing a dinosaur mask at the time.
Mac-"I never want M&M's again!" Daniel-"And a collective gasp fills the room."
Went to the gas station this morning to get gas for the lawn mower. While I was there, I picked up some donuts. Gabriel said, "No sprinkles? They broke, Mom." and then he cried.
Mac, "Instead of cleaning my room, let's just pretend I did."
Mac, "I threw up, Mom." Me, "Why? Are you feeling sick?" Mac, "No, I swallowed toothpaste." Me, "It isn't time to brush your teeth. Why were you brushing your teeth?" Mac, "I didn't brush my teeth. I ate the toothpaste." Me, "Why did you do that?" Mac, "Because the soap I ate tasted awful! I needed something else to eat."
Mac came in with a bloody nose. When Wayne asked him what happened Mac said, "I hit it." Wayne, "On what?" Mac, "Gabe's head."
Me-"Daniel, I told you to get dressed." Daniel, "I did." Me-"You forgot your shirt."
I have too much to do. Daniel says, "Why do any of it? Let's just go swim."
Gabe, "Big boys don't share. They are scary warriors!"
Is Very upset with Sun Herald newspaper!!!!!!!!!! Hannah says, "They are stinkwaffers."
Gabe brings me his plate with the rest of the food that he didn't eat and says, "Here, Mom, put these back with their family. I'm finished eating."
Gabriel loves to sing "Blue Danube" in the pool. And of course, he has to splash as he sings.
Gabe had his first dentist appointment. It went really well. He said, "I holded Mr. Thirsty and got a spider to scary you." Mr. Thirsty is the vacuum thingy. Daniel says, "Hey, you can say it sucks! Hahahaha"
Mac, "I am pretty good at stuff like climbing the wall."
Mac, "Mom, I almost bit my chin off. But I didn't. See???"
Daniel, "I;m going to name my son Daniel Wayne Francis, IV because I already know how to spell it."
Me to Gabe, "who are you?" Gabe, "Well, I'm not the professor."
Mac, "How far did you run, Mom?" Me, "Only 3 miles today." Mac, "Wow, did you go to Mexico?"
Had a conversation with Gabe a while ago. (He napped until 6 so he is up late.) It went something like this. "The honk that whale and the baby toilets had to go to the jewy fish."=the humpback whale and the baby tortoise had to go to the jelly fish.
Me, "I ran 4 miles today." Daniel, "Why?"
Mac, "Don't miss Daddy this morning. Here I'll help. *makes gas noise*"
Gabe noticed how sweaty I was after my run and said, "Mom! You peed on your shirt!"
‎"So a pun is just a homophone used in a funny way? That's awesome."-Daniel
After traveling a newly asphalted road, Daniel asked, "What is THAT smell?" Hannah answer, "Uranus."
Mac, "Mom, everyone thinks that I am the cutest boy on the whole Earth, Poppy says so."
Mac palmed a folded up wad of $20's to his Karate instructor and said, "I really want to pass my test."
Mac, "Why in the world did God make so many girls? I need more boys to play with!"
Mac, "I love macaroni and cheese, because it has my name."
Hannah has named a toy "Miss Periwinkle von Yum-Yum". What a creative bunch I have!
Mac, "Mom, I weigh 46.5 plus taxes." My poor child! What are we doing to this generation?
Daniel was excited to have his own bed room, until I told him to go clean it up. Then he said, "Mom, that's not fair! They trashed the room before you moved them out." Mac laughed at him.
The birthday boy with his favorite animal, "baby jaguar." He thought "Baby Jaguar" was "stinky".
Gabe got his birthday cards in the mail. And one of the great grandmothers send them $1 for every year. Hannah and Mac were all excited that Gabe got money. Gabe said, "I don't want money! I want some lunch.
Mac, "Did you hear me fart? Then why aren't you laughing?"
Wayne has a kidney infection. I told Mac that the doctor was going to give his daddy a shot in the rear. Mac said, "Will he leak out of his butt?"
Gabe last night at bed time, "Mommy, you not sleep. You sleep on Sunday." Apparently that is my only day of rest too.
Mac ran into the street. I told him that he would get hit by a car doing that. He said, "Then I will die. Go to heaven. And God would say, 'Mmmm, Mmmm, look what you did to your momma!'"
At Chick-fil-a, Gabe decided that he wanted to go to the bathroom by himself. He came out naked.....What a start to my day!!! :)
Mac, "I don't like that gum. It makes me blond."
Me, "Gabe, where's your shoes?" Gabe, "If they were up my but,t I'd know."
Yesterday, Mac tried riding his skateboard down the stairs. I have a feeling we may be in the e.r. real soon
Hannah, "Mac, stop being obnoxious." Me, "do you know what that means?" Hannah, "It means Mac is a pain in the rear end."
Gabe, "Come inside bug! I killed your friend."
Gotta good laugh at Gabe today, he wiped his rear and then his nose.
I made hot wings for lunch. Mac said, "That smells ferocious!"
Gabe is running around the house with his pull-up around his ankles and laughing while Daniel is chasing him with a broom
Daniel to Gabe, "What's 2+2?" Gabe, "My big toe."
Daniel had to read a paragraph about a grandmother and grandson cooking rice together. Then the directions said for him to visualize the interaction between them and write a sentence. He wrote that he visualized them making cookies, because he doesn't like rice.
Hannah, "Chuck Norris once had a fight with Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants."
Mac walked past the room where the offering team meets to pray before church. He asked, "Is that where all the men go to get belts before church?" Me, "Of course." Mac, "Do they have one for me? Because mine is too big?"
Me, "Mac, did you have a good night at Karate Kid's Night?" Mac, "No, something really bad happened." Me, "What???" Mac, "There was a big jumpy spider and I screamed like a girl."
So Stanley Steamer was suppose to come this morning and clean the carpets sometime between 8 and 12 (4 hours..I know). Well at 12 they called to say that they weren't going to make it in the time allotted (Ya Think!) Anyway, Hannah said, "I think their business model is broken." Just is only 7! She cracks me up!
The sentence was "Has Ann a hat?" Mac reads, "Has Ann a hat mystery."
Mac,"Rule 1000 of the quiet game-Never, ever get blown up. Rule 1000000-Never, ever do anything stupid that you're not suppose to do."
Daniel, "giraffe's use their tongues to pick their nose." Hannah, "They learn it from their dad's."
Gabe in his sleep, "No, no! I can't wipe my butt!"
From the back seat of the van- Hannah to Daniel, "Stop being so astute!" They both crack up laughing because the pun was intended.
Played Apples to Apples with friends and the kids. Word- "Friendly" Hannah's card-"Geisha". I laughed until I cried.
We went to the battlefield in Vicksburg. There were many monuments for the different states that had soldiers fighting. We drove through looking at the normal looking monuments. Then we came to Alabama's monument. It was a well shaped woman holding a flag encouraging the soldiers around her to fight. Daniel saw her and said, "WOW! Alabama likes their women!"
Gabe, "Daddy's not at work. He's in the big house."
Mac, "I don't want to fight Daniel on the Wii game! It's rude....And he always wins."
Gabe's reason for not doing anything, "I can't! I hurt my foot.”
Daniel, "I'm not being sarcastic, I am being sardonic." Only my kids know the difference.
Just walked in to see Gabe trying to teach the dog to sign "more"
Gabe, "Captain Huggy Face, show us pensive." 
Gabe,"Mommy, have some fudge." Me, "I can't." Gabe, "Why? Are you hurt?"
Gabe, "I can't go get my car, Mom. I will miss you to much."
Mac, "I wish I would fly when I farted."
Mac and I discussed noise pollution. His question, "Does farting count?" And your answer would be?
Gabe, "No, I not a boy. I'm a horse. Giddy up me."
Hannah, "I am going to grow up and get a scholarship to college. Go and meet a nerd that loves Jesus. We will finish college, get married, be happy, and get rich."
Mac, "Mom, God made poop just so I have a funny word I like to say."
Daniel, "Today, I am going to make up my own idioms."
I hesitate to put this up, but it was too funny. Daniel about some mythological creature, "it's a shaper sh**er." We laugh and he says, "What? I didn't say sh**, I said shift."
Mac, "I need to go to the bathroom, but not for a spanking."
Gabe accidentally turned on the tv, and it turned up loud. He screamed and ran, "Mommy, I scary! I scary!" Me-"Why?" Gabe, "because I said so."
Mac....What do I do.......He cut his hand and said, "but don't worry! I'm not dead." I said, "are you sure?" He said, "Yep." I am not sure what to do with him.
took the kids to Hibachi. The boys had just finished Karate, so they were still in their uniform. That attracted the attention of the chef and the chef encourage Mac to talk the ENTIRE time. Everyone at the table was watching Mac instead of the chef. He is so funny. But I had to tell him that Ninjas (like him *wink *wink) do not need to pull the fire alarm.

Gabe, "Mommy, I can't go to sleep. I'm scary!"
Mac can sing Zip-it-i-do-da to the tune of Indiana Jones!
MAc, "Daddy cut his finger, but he's not dead."
In Daniel's sleep he starts screaming, "OK, OK! Come here! What's the plan? AWWWW! I don't make a plan!" Wayne and I couldn't help but laugh.
Mac-"Hey, at your wedding can I walk around and make sure a lot of people are there behaving?" Kristin-"I'm sorry?" Me-"He wants to be security."
Wayne's best friend from high school and college asked Hannah to be the flower girl at his wedding. In typical Hannah fashion said, "Why, of course! I would be absolutely delighted!"Gabe singing, "O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree! How lovely is your mustache!"
Gabe, "Mommy, I broke your house and Daddy went scary!" He broke a drawer in the kitchen.
And $1000 worth of car repairs later.....Daniel says, "Hey, could be worse! You could have a car payment!"
Me to Mac, "Mac, the number is 2. What did you draw 2 of?" Mac smiling, "2 butts!"
Hannah told me about a conversation that she had recently with a person that will remain un-named. Frustrated Person, "Yes, ok! I believe in Jesus. Now will you stop talking about him!" Hannah, "I can't." That girl is going to do a great and mighty work for God!
Today with Mac's school work, Mac had to read the word and draw the picture. One word was "can", he drew the trash can. Too funny!
Either Hannah or Mac "mistakenly" ripped a leg off a frog to see if it would grow back. Neither one would fess up to who did it.
Gabe to Mac, "No, Mac! That's not nice! I'm going to hit you now!"
When I changed my profile pic Gabe said, "Look it's me! I have clothes on."
My grandfather turned 91 today. Mac asked him, "Are you 13 today?"
Daniel to Hannah, "I bet I could design a robot that would beat your butt."
Hannah to Daniel, "Does Uranus smell?" Daniel giggled.
Wayne, "Gabe, you are going to see Mickey!" Gabe, "Oh, I'm pretty sure I'm not."
While trying to talk Mac into going onto Tower of Terror Wayne said, "If you don't go with me, you have to go see 'Beauty and the Beast' with Mom and Hannah." Mac said, "I don't want to see princesses!" Hannah then replied, "If you go with Dad, he will be the only princess on that ride."
Gabriel, "Mommy, I got your heart!" Me,"You sure do."
The kids watched Disney's "The Christmas Carol". Mac asked, "Why didn’t Donald and Scrooge just fly south for the winter?
Daniel very matter of fact stated; "Look at all the stars. God put up His Christmas lights"

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