Thursday, May 10, 2012
Sharing My Experiences
Today, I met a grandmother of a possible Autistic child while taking my boys for speech. He was diagnosed as Autistic by a pediatrian, not a doctor who specializes in the Autism Spectrum. After a while, she decided to change doctors, and the new doctor suggest take the child for brain seizures. She is hoping that her grandson has brain seizures, not the Autism, so that they can medicate and have a "normal" kid.
She asked my opinion on the matter because she was so lost. I shared my experiences with doctors, specialists, labeling, and such. I told her about how she needs allow herself to grieve over the loss of the grandchild she dreamed of, and the for life that she dreamed for him. That would allow her to cope with what was in the future. Many parents and grandparents don't realize that grieving over their ideas give such release. We miss something very real to us, but we gain so much more after we let go of our "dream".
God has something very big planned. He allows us to participate in His glory. I have no idea what is planned for my babies or me. I have 4 kids, and 3 are classified as special needs. 2 of them are on the Spectrum and 1 is hard of hearing. I often ask God how He could possibly trust me so much. I know He doesn't make mistakes. And my babies are absolutely perfect the way they are made, and I wouldn't change them.......so that means He must have more faith in me than I have in myself.
It's hard. I've been driving to therapy for 9 years!!!! A majority of the time, I drive that twice a week. Not to mention, it's expensive and exhausting. Parenting is hard enough without trying to interact with children who communicate so differently.
Still, I wouldn't trade, fix, or do without any of them. As Psalms 139:14 states, they are "perfectly and wonderfully made" by a Creator that has big plans for us all to bring Him glory. He has selflessly allowed us to play a special part in His creation. He gently guides us in becoming beautiful souls that make Him smile as we plod this path that He specially designed. I trust that in His infinite wisdom; He prepares us for the time that we are caught up with Him. Until then, I hide myself in His arms, holding on, and refusing to let go. I can only begin to understand Psalm 17:8, "Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me in the shadow of Your wings."
As, I typed this, Daniel and Hannah brought me an early Mother's Day gift. They made a flower out of paper and a pipe cleaner. Daniel wrote "love is superior" and he rubbed deodorant on the paper. He said the smell pleases him. I know why instinctively. It is soft and noninvasive. Such sweet spirits.