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Sunday, September 4, 2011

A Great Friend

This lizard captured Daniel's attention more than any animal in the zoo.

Sometimes it just hits me, Daniel is SO different!  But he tries so hard to fit in.  The problem is that other people and various types of work just not interesting. And when he isn't interested he "self-stimulates", or my preferred word "Soothes."

Stress or Boredom causes some really unusual behaviors. It started with spinning, then flapping.  He flapped for a long time.  Then he started clearing his throat.  We got more negative attention for that, as parents.  Everyone always thought he was sick.  Nope, it made him feel better.  Now, the new thing is a facial twitch. Kind of like he is winking.  It is less obvious than flapping and spinning, but still....I fear that he will be slapped for winking while some pretty girl is near.  He wouldn't be winking at her, just as she happens to walk by.

So we are working on a list. He and I are working on a list of the qualities that other people want in a friend so that interacting with people is less stressful.  The less stress, the less "soothing".  I am putting the list here.  Feel free to contribute ideas.  Some of this may sound ridiculous, but we have to be very upfront, honest, and thorough.

Qualities a Friend Wants
1. Smart, but not a show off
2. Well and appropriately dressed for specific occasions (don't wear a suit to play outside)
3. Smell and look clean
4. Care for others thoughts and feelings
5. Kind
6.  Lets other people talk
7. Listens
8. Stays on subject
9. Doesn't interrupt (even if what I have to say is more interesting)
10. Good manners

Any more advice????  Remember if it doesn't make it on the list, then it isn't a "friend quality".  We don't assume that it will just come with practice.  A mental (some times actual) note has to be made.

Isn't he WONDERFUL!  He wants to be a good friend.  And he has the kind and good manners down.  He is very proud of his manners.  Sometimes when he is holding a door, I have to make him stop.  He will stand there forever, because "people keep coming and I need to be polite."


1 comment:

  1. I think these are great. You don't want your list too long. It makes it more trouble than it iw worth. Good job, Mom. He is doing great.